I just got home from my first trip outside of the USA. No, I didn't go anywhere with blue water, feet of beautiful white snow, or countrysides full of vineyards. No, where I went, it was hot, dry, dusty beyond belief, bug-filled, and absolutely one of the most beautiful places I've ever had the privilege to lay my eyes on. Maasai Land, Kenya. I went with a group from my church to share God's wonderful Truth with the people there. We left here on February 12th and returned 11 days later, on the 23rd. It was a wonderful trip, an amazing experience. I pray that I will return to see my friends again soon.
This was a teaching mission. We didn't build anything or give medical attention. We were there to teach these beautiful people about God's truth, about His gift to us - His son, Jesus Christ, and about what it looks like to live a life devoted to Him. There were 7 from our church, 5 women and 2 men. One of our women worked with the children, while the other 4 taught the women, and the men taught the men. I was one who taught the women.
Leading up to this trip, I would find myself giggling at the idea that I would have anything worth sharing with these people. I am not a teacher. I don't know enough! But I was compelled by the Spirit to go on this trip, and teaching was the mission, so, I just went with it. God had laid upon my heart the passage in Ephesians 6 about the Full Armor of God. At first, I was thinking that God was drawing me to this passage for my own benefit. Based on some of the reactions I was getting after telling people that I was going on this trip, I thought God was giving me my armor to stand firm in that decision, despite what others might be saying. But He kept drawing me back here, so I dove in. I still am not convinced that the study of this passage was not more for me than the Maasai women who heard it. Sometimes God has a funny way of getting us to stop long enough to receive what He has for us. I guess sometimes, He has to take us clear across the globe for it to really sink in.
As I look over the last year or so, I see a pattern in what God has been doing in my life. He has built my confidence in who I am as His child. Over the last 2 years or so, He has lead me to do things that I never had any interest in doing, mainly because I had listened to all the lies telling me that I couldn't do them. In high school, there was a "Senior Superlatives" notebook that was passed around. It wasn't filled with pages of "Most likely to succeed" or "Most likely to be president." There was nothing positive in this book of junk. My name ended up on the page entitled "Most likely to be the ugliest person to ever walk the face of the earth." I still cringe at the thought of how mean and hurtful people can be. While I know better that to believe this trash, Satan takes every opportunity to remind me of this notebook. At times, he even adds more brutality to it. It's so easy to fall into his trap and believe his lies. But God. Aren't those beautiful words?!?! God has lead me on a journey to show me who I really am. He has taught me so much about who His princess really is.
He's taught me lessons about endurance. In 2010 I entered a triathlon, and in 2011 a 1/2 marathon. This was huge for me because up until then, I was that person who wasn't going to run anywhere unless there was someone chasing me with a knife! Both of these things were a lot of fun, but God showed me what dedication looked like. The training schedules for these events required a dedication that I had not given to much of anything prior to them. God used these events to show me what endurance looked like and what it took to gain it.
He's taught me lessons about trust. Also in 2011, I joined the choir at church. Shortly after that, the praise team. I remember the first time on stage with the praise team. I thought my heart was going to explode - and I wasn't even close to a microphone! Then there was the time that there weren't enough people and I had to hold the microphone! So funny to look back on now. It wasn't long after that that my worship pastor, out of the blue one night at practice, called on me to try a solo. He said, "No time that the present, Carrie." Let's just say that it was good that the microphone did not have jingling things hanging from it. With all the shaking I was doing, that's all anyone would've heard. One other time, I was joking around with some fellow choir members about being so nervous I thought I was going to throw up. Pastor heard me and told me to shut up and sing. He said it was time to stop believing the lies and trust what God was calling me to do.
Then he takes me to Kenya. Of all things He could have me do, He takes me to Kenya to teach! I jokingly said (but I was oh so serious about it) that I would rather hammer 5000 nails than teach even 1 lesson! I just don't feel worthy of teaching God's word. There is still so much for me to learn. But, I trusted that God would give me all that I needed, and followed Him. Is anyone of you surprised that He did indeed supply all that was required? For some reason, I am always surprised. I'm not surprised that He CAN, but I am always surprised that He would want to.....for me. When I read the Bible, I see how He calls and equips ordinary people, flawed people. But I fall into the trap of believing it for everyone but myself. Another one of Satan's dirty schemes to lead me down the wrong path. He is tricky, isn't he? God shows me over and over again that He can, He will, and He wants to give it all to ME. How great is our God! He's my hero!
Starting in March, Jodie and I will be facilitating a Bible Study called Run For God. I still maintain that I am not a teacher. God is the teacher, not me! Who better to learn from!
Little by little God has been stretching my comfort zone. I think of it like a balloon, with God blowing it up, breath by breath, stretching that balloon. I can't wait for Him to pop it altogether!
