So many things are going through my head right now. I am really having a hard time processing it all. So, I thought that maybe getting down on "paper" would help me work through it.
I know that being easily offended is not of God. I know that He would rather I turn the offense over to Him and let Him handle it. I know that, even when I feel I am defending Him and His people in my offensive, He would rather I not keep it and give it to Him. It's so hard sometimes though. But the funny thing is that I find myself being offended by the person who is doing and saying the exact same things that I, myself, used to do and say. Maybe that is why it's so offensive to me in the first place?
So like I have said before, I grew up in church. A small town United Methodist Church. It was, and still is, a great church. It is a wonderful community and, at least when I was there, was a true church family. I made friendships there that I believe I will always have. But, my walk with Christ was extremely shallow. I don't think that the UMC is to blame for that. There are plenty of believers within the UMC that have authentic love relationships with Christ. I just was not one of them. I was, however, very in tune with all the traditions within my church. We did things they way we did them, and there was no room for anything outside of those ways. When I think back on my time at that church, that's what I remember - traditions. I remember the church bulletins that outlined our services. We sang the same songs at the same times and said the same prayers every Sunday. After a while, the monotony takes control and all of a sudden you are just going through the motions because that's "the way we did them." Now, don't get me wrong, there is something endearing about tradition. I find myself missing some of those same old songs and prayers at times. The difference now, though, is that I understand what it means to "Praise God, from whom all blessings flow" and I can sing that song in true, authentic worship of our Great God. But back then, I didn't get it. I had memorized that song in the early years of Sunday School, but had never taken the time dissect what it was that I was singing. I imagine that I was not alone in that. So, think about that for a minute. You have a worship service run by a bulletin and filled with people singing songs they may or may not mean. Where does the Spirit even have room to show up, much less move? Again, there is comfort in traditions, but is there room for true growth? One of my favorite quotes is "There is little growth in a comfort zone, and little comfort in a growth zone." It is so true.
So, growing up in that church, listening to the organ and the chancel choir every week, the thought of drums in a church never even crossed my mind. Then I went home with Jodie to "meet the family". So we left NC State on a Friday afternoon and went "home" to visit with his family. That Sunday, before heading back to school, we went to church. They did not go to a United Methodist Church. They went to a non-denominational church. They had D.R.U.M.S.! I remember getting out that that car that morning. No one had said anything about what the church was like, so I was expecting more of my traditions. But we got out of the car that morning, and in the parking lot I heard all kinds of noise and commotion coming from the church building. I asked Jodie what it was. "It's the DRUMS," he said. "What?!?! I can't go in there!" It was out of my comfort zone. It was different. It defied tradition. It just wasn't right!
Says who???
I did go in that church service that morning, and I witnessed something that absolutely blew my mind! I have not been the same since. I saw, for the very first time in my life, the Holy Spirit. I don't remember what the sermon was about. I don't remember what songs we sang (I didn't know any of them anyway). But I do remember seeing God's people filled with His joy, His love, His Spirit. It shook me. It scared me a little even, but it also made me want more. The next time we went "home" and went to that church, I saw something that blew my mind even more. So here was this preacher, who had spent his time that week writing what I am sure was a wonderful message to share with the congregation that day. But God had another plan. God planned an extended prayer time. And that is what happened. It was like someone took the bulletin and tore it into shreds. This church didn't have a bulletin, but if they had, that printed schedule of events for that service would've been null and void. I couldn't believe it! We went to church. We sang. We clapped with the drums. And then we prayed. Again, something I had never witnessed before. Corporate unified prayer - all at the spur of the moment - all Spirit lead.
I tell you all of this so you can understand what it is that I am struggling with. In my ignorance, my traditions, my comfort zone, and in my fear, I doubted that church and what they were doing. And I almost missed one of the biggest blessings God has ever given me. Visiting that church, I believe, marked the beginning of my true salvation journey.
So fast forward 13 years. Jodie and I are married with children, and I know that I know that I know that I am a daughter of the King. Now, I look back on all of that and can giggle a little. And within the context of my own personal salvation story it is a bit funny, especially since I know how it will end. But in the context of God's Kingdom, it's nothing less than scary!
Let me start by saying that I am not a fan of denominations. The great commission did not consist of "Go and make disciples of all nations, and make sure that you divide them appropriately among the Methodist, Presbyterian, Baptist, etc. churches." No, denominations were man-made, and in some ways, are just what Satan ordered. We are all God's people, and the divisions between the denominations is just that - division among God's people. It's scary, really. And I am still guilty of it too. It is so easy to look at another church group, dissect it (from the outside of course, cause it might hurt too much to actually examine from the inside) and what they do, and judge it as being wrong. And Satan loves it! He smiles every time God's people attack their own. And everyday, we all fall into the same trap again! When are we going to get it through our heads, that God is HUGE!!!!! His mind is HUGE!!!!! We can't even begin to understand what He understands, or what He is doing, or how or why or when..... And as long as we remain in our comfort zones (traditional, denominational, non-denomininational, whatever it may be), too scared to rock the boat, we will never get any closer than we are right now to understanding His ways. Ann Graham Lotz said last night in her simulcast that God is shaking us. And then she rattled off a long list of the ways in which He is doing it. There were hurricanes, earthquakes, wars, economical trouble. And the list went on. We need to understand that God uses all things to reach all people. He uses a traditional worship service to reach some, and He uses the more contemporary one to reach others. And then there are those who love a little of both. My point in all of this is simple: Just because it is out of our comfort zone, outside of our traditions, not the way we do things, it doesn't mean it's wrong. I say, for the sake of God's Kingdom, bring it all.....the organ, the hymns, the piano, the entire orchestra, the chancel choir, the dance and drama teams, the praise team and band (with the drums of course)...even the fog machines. If it results in even 1 life being changed, 1 soul being saved, who are we to call it wrong? Wake up church! It's not about us!
